Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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