Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
