that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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