mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think people are normalizing furries
Please don't give away my fajitas
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize