I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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