We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
