Acid is not a monday night drug
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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