Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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