well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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