Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
