nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
