Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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