He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
pray to the hookup gods
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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