My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
