2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
