Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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