youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
