am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
