Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
