He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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