He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ttyl tear gas
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
