The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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