i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
