there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
