Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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