My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm bleeding and have questions
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
