Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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