If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
