think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
