I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish you could order shots online.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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