margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
