Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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