At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
