God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sorry about my life...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm having to shit out rocks
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
