Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
