Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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