Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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