I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
