I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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