I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
