i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
