i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
