ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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