im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
