wanna go halves on a baby?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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