i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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