the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
