you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
