I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
