im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
being pregnant is like rehab
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
