You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
