she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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