it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Alive.
So much puke
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
