I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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