I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
