How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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