mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
